Sunday, April 25, 2010

they say home is where the heart is. i guess i haven't found my home.

ingrid spoke to me today. she tends to do that a lot. i have been thinking a lot about my home aka sandy. i know it's only twenty minutes from my humble abode of the deeg, but it has gained some very special importance to me this semester. i never realized how much i take for the granted the beautiful place i was raised in. at one point i thought my life had moved up to the u, to the big city of salt lake, but now i am realizing, my life is still residing in sandy and i am so very happy it has waited for me there. every time i take the drive to foothill blvd, hop on the i-215, say hello to suicide rock, pass the ocean and molcasalsa, take a glimpse at all the fast food joints i kept in business as a high schooler, then take that right turn onto creek road, i realize that i am home and it's comforting. it's that safe zone that some don't get. i use to hate this drive. and now i cherish it and do everything in my power to stay in that bubble. the people that love me most. my parents and nerdherd. they reside in this small bubble and it's nice to know that i can always just take a twenty minute drive to return to it. i have never been so ecstatic to enjoy my summer in sandy. i forgot how much i love the nice weather there. the trees are different, almost like they carry an innocence (ya that sounded way crazy i know) i'd like to thank ingrid and her great song "are we there yet" for helping me remember where the heart is, and that i have definitely found my home.

Monday, April 19, 2010

out of body

An outer body experience can be defined as the process of transiently separating the consciousness (spirit) from the physical body, such that the person and world are observed from outside of the body. I read more about this experience and found it occurred mostly in the cases of religious and spiritual situations, however for me it does not quite match up with that. I feel as though I am watching myself grow into a woman (not just a girl, but a grown woman) I can see my thoughts changing. I am grasping things from a better perspective, I am learning to take things with a grain of salt. I can literally see myself changing, not just feeling it. I feel like a bystander watching this transformation and it is rather exciting. That slump I have talked about...yes I am still in it, however, I have made some changes recently within myself, at least I think I have, and it is interesting how I feel. Refreshed. That's a good way to describe my feeling. As confused as I am about life, I also have this arms wide open mentality that I haven't had and it is somewhat comforting...and frightening at the same time. I never thought that I could learn more about myself. I thought I had figured that part out. But with each lesson I learn, I find that it builds me up into more of a person, every trail I go through gives me character, adding to Katelyn (yes, I just referred to myself in third person, it's that whole outer body deal) Okay, so maybe I am a late bloomer and everyone has already experienced this part of their life, but I just wanted to ramble about it. Even if my rambles aren't read, it's nice to sort it out. If you do read this, I apologize for my jumbled thoughts. Hope they are semi entertaining.